She stopped in for a hairdo at our local beauty shop.
She had a picture of woman with lots of curls on top.
Now this is how I'd like to look when you get through with me
And I don't want to rush you, but I must be out by three.
I glanced up at the wall clock, the time was one fifteen.
Sure, we'll get you out by three, but only in your dreams.
I want it short, but not too short, and not too long, of course.
I tried to cut it once myself, but only made it worse.
Oh yes, I want some color too, you know the shade I mean--
Not too dark, but not too light, just somewhere in between.
And could I get a perm, dear? Though there's very little left.
I just turned away from her and pretended I was deaf.
I don't think we can do all this; I'm falling way behind.
Oh sure you can, at my other shops they do it all the time.
All her "other shops?" . . . How many is she using?
I'll bet her other shops don't find her so amusing.
I sent her off to be shampooed; I'd try to do my best.
She hollered out, just a minute dear, I have to change my dress.
I heard her say, be gentle now, my head is very tender.
(I couldn't help but think about a rake I'd like to lend her).
We toweled her hair till it was damp, then started in to cut
When suddenly she doubled up, complaining 'bout her gut.
I haven't eaten much today, is there any food around?
I looked for something she could eat, but our goodies were all gone.
I think I'll pray to Joseph, he's my very special Saint.
He's always helped me out before when I was feeling faint!
Oh brother, now I have an actress being rolled up in my station.
When I get through with this doll, they should give me a citation.
How about some pizza, we can eat it while you dry.
Well, hurry up and order it; I think I'm gonna die.
She never asked what time it was, or if I had a date.
I didn't have the courage to say the time was half past eight.
At last I had her all combed out and thought that I was through.
But there were still some other things she wanted me to do.
I really need a manicure--my nails are just a fright.
A pedicure would be nice, too, I hope you do it right.
Please, somebody wake me up and say it's just a dream.
I'm starting to get tremors and I think I'm gonna scream.
When I finally showed her out the door, I whispered an AMEN.
We got her out by three, alright, I mean three o'clock A.M.
By now I was exhausted and feeling slightly ill
When I realized with horror . . SHE FORGOT TO PAY HER BILL!
© Dawn Stratton