NO SALE!

You'd never think of me as one

to make a fashion statement

Even tho I shop the whole mall thru

from Field's to Filene's Basement.

I wander in and out of stores,

like I know what I am doing.

Then some chippy little sales girl says,

"What is it you're pursuing?"

What I'm pursuing, dearie,

is a dress that fits my figure.

"Oh, I saw the perfect one for you,

too bad it wasn't bigger!"

I let that slide and quickly

changed the subject to the styles.

It seems the type of dress I like

has been "out" for quite a while!

Now I don't know what's in or out,

or what's the latest fashion.

Since my blue jeans and my sweatshirt

are what I spend my cash on.

"Did you see the dress the model wore?

It's something you might like."

I'd like it for a whole lot less,

That price tag's out of sight!

She brought a little number out

she thought would fill the bill.

But one look at those triple mirrors,

I suddenly felt quite ill!

She rattled on and on

about the many boys who date her.

And looking at her size 4 dress,

I knew that I could hate her!

Is there anything at all, my dear

you think that I could wear?

I could almost read her mind by now

(How does one fit a pear?)

I struggled into a lovely gown,

she whispered, "just a minute....

let's remove those shoulder pads."

Except there were none in it!

I fell in love with a lilac lace

and tried it on most happily.

Unfortunately, when we zipped it up,

it covered only half of me!

Now I'm not one to carry on,

or show my aggravation.

Instead I packed up all my stuff. . .

I needed some libation!

I'll never shop that store again,

No, I'm never going back.

I'll stick to all the outlet stores,

and buy them off the rack.

Wait . . . I've had a brilliant thought,

and I like the way it sounds,

Why not open my own shop,

and call it FASHION BY THE POUND!

Dawn Stratton 1992 ©